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31 Days - Day 13

 

Marcelina closed her chemistry book and let it fall with a soft thud to the floor. Studying was a waste and she had no idea why Jory insisted on continuing the charade. Any day now conscription would be called and none of their education would matter. Bullet sponges didn’t need to know anything but how to bleed.

Jory did not take the hint. Not even when she sighed. So, she slid down onto her back and rested her head in his lap. Eyes closed, she felt his fingers in her hair as she heard the page turn. Pages. As in books. So old fashioned.

“Read that last part to me?”

She liked listening to him even when she couldn’t understand what he said. He may as well have been speaking ancient Sumerian. Once, tipsy on stolen wine, she’d said she could listen to him recite the phone book. The next time they were alone in their old clubhouse he’d sat on her and read from the phone directory.

“Jory?” she asked three pages later.

“Almost done with this section.”

“I’m naked under my clothes.”

“Scandalous!” He set his book down. His hand left her hair and slid to her shoulder. “Marcelina?”

“Yes.”

“So am I.”

She hadn’t planned on this. Not truly.

Not exactly.

No more than she’d planned on this every time they’d been alone for the last year and a half. Something had always happened. Interruptions were common, but tonight they shouldn’t have to worry. She’d snuck out and they’d double checked that their meager lamp light couldn’t be seen through the curtains hung over the open windows. To study undisturbed.

“Are you sure?”

Marcelina sat up and rested on her knees beside him. He watched as she began to unbutton her shirt. In the dim light he might have missed her blush, but she doubted it from the way he grinned at her.

“Have you done this before?” She hated to ask. Because if he had she didn’t know what she’d do.

“No.” He grinned at her again. “Well, the one time with Charlotte, but she doesn’t count.”

“You!” Marcelina pushed him to the sleeping bags under them and pinned his arms down. It wasn’t hard because he laughed. She started laughing when he pulled a hand free and began to tickle her.

She kissed him before she lost all her breath from laughing. The next kiss, or maybe the one after, took his breath away. She stopped keeping track afterwards.

After their awkward fumblings, they curled up around each other as the chill night air began to seep into their bodies. Marcelina was surprised she hadn’t noticed the cold before. Then Jory slid against her as he pulled an old army blanket over them and she remembered why she hadn’t noticed the cold.

“That was way better than with Charlotte.”

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t kiss her.”

“What?”

“When we were nine. I never kissed Charlotte. She said I could. She wanted me to. I never did.”

“Then why did you say what you did? About her saying I would cry.”

The day had left an impression. Not only because of her black eye. Marcelina shivered when his fingers traced her spine.

“Because she did say it. She said even if I didn’t kiss her she’d say I did and you would cry.”

“I really don’t like Charlotte.”

“The feeling is mutual. She’s always been jealous.”

“Why?”

“Because I never wanted her.”

“Oh.”

Jory’s lips quieted hers. She didn’t mind. Nor did she mind when his mouth left hers to explore other places.

“It’s always been you, Marcelina. Ever since you puked on my shoes in kindergarten.”

Only Jory could say that and not ruin the mood. So, she found a way to thank him for being perfect. Twice.


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31 Days - Day 12

 

There were twelve people in front of her. Two of them were family. Marcelina stared at the booths along the back wall and wished Jory were here. His family’s number had been so much lower they were done and gone by now. The line shifted forward and she shuffled along the wood floor.

Siemowit had pressed his uniform the night before and stood at the front of their family. As if he were taking tata’s place. Marcelina’s eyes narrowed as she focused her gaze on his back. Laser eyes, she thought. If she had laser eyes she could burn holes in his uniform. Set the whole thing on fire. Not only would he be miserable, but they would have to evacuate.

The line moved again and Marcelina took her mama’s hand. It felt so frail. Ever since tata had died last year her mama had begun to shrink in on herself. She tried not to think about it because she could not think about it without crying. The last thing she wanted to do, especially here and now, was to cry.

Too close now. Siemowit would be next in line. The family ahead of them went to the booths and slid the sheer, plastic curtains closed. The curtains were new. His idea. Because everyone should take pride in what they did. Why hide the glorious process?

Marcelina’s stomach fluttered. This morning she’d forced herself to eat breakfast and instantly regretted it. Siemowit’s preening and puffing had not helped. There was a lot of that from him in part because Marcelina had not been bothering him. Her mama no longer had the strength to deal with their arguing.

Siemowit confused Marcelina’s filial concern with capitulation. Someday, she told Jory, Siemowit would know she had not allowed him to win. Jory worried, but he worried about everything she said. Again she wished he were here. She would be less nervous.

The family in front of them stepped from their booths and walked towards the exit. The small cubicle between them and the door would allow them to speak directly to him. Well, listen to his message. Marcelina did not think he would speak to everyone. Or anyone.

Siemowit took mama’s hand and helped her to the booth. Marcelina found herself glaring at him once more. He only helped mama because it left Marcelina on her own. Well, if he thought she couldn’t do it he was wrong.

Her feet resisted and Siemowit was closing mama’s curtain and stepping into his own booth by the time Marcelina reached hers. The curtain rings rattled as her fingers shook. Once it was closed she turned to the flat screen.

It took her five tries to enter her social security number. The screen was too bright and the noise from the people waiting behind her made her nervous. As words flashed by her eyes she felt her stomach turn over. More words and her whole body began to tremble.

“Press your palm against the glass.” The mechanical voice was followed by a beeping noise. She did not know if it would stop beeping.

Siemowit’s words from breakfast left her stomach churning. On and on about how proud she should be to get to vote. Her first vote and for the new president. Wouldn’t he be thankful?

No, she’d wanted to say. He wouldn’t care. Why would he? There were no names on the ballot screen. Only a place to lay her palm so her vote would be counted for the president.

Marcelina clutched her stomach as her head throbbed. All she had to do was lift her hand and it would be over. Not hard. Everyone else had done it. Siemowit and mama were done now and waiting for her. Except, her hand would not lift. Instead, it clutched her stomach as this morning’s sausage and porridge threatened to remove themselves.

No.

Siemowit would smirk forever.

She couldn’t be sick. She wouldn’t be sick. Eyes squeezed closed now she lifted her hand and touched the panel with the tips of her fingers. The instant she felt the cool glass the room spun.

Unable to stop herself, Marcelina threw up her breakfast on the ballot screen. The beeping stopped. So, there was a comfort in that fact. The curtain rings shook as the plastic was pulled back. Marcelina stumbled back and closed her eyes again. Everyone stared at her. Well, why wouldn’t they? Maybe they would chalk it up to excitement? Her first vote.

It was not excitement. It was horror. Why did she have to vote? She couldn’t do it for him. The man who’d promised her death. The man who was the reason she knew she had one, two years at most before conscription and death. Her eyes opened to slits and she wondered why it was so bright. Marcelina backed away, but was stopped by a wall of flesh.

She turned and looked up into the blank stare of a guard. He grabbed her wrist and she would have sworn she heard bones crackle. A handheld ballot screen was there suddenly and he slapped her hand against it. A green light flashed and before she was sick again he whipped it out of the way and left.

Tears stung her eyes. A hand closed over her shoulder and she was pulled around to face a furious looking Siemowit. Behind him was mama. She said nothing. Not even when Siemowit hauled her across the room to the exit. He shoved her into the cubicle and slammed the door.

“Hello, Marcelina.”

She said nothing.

“Thank you for your vote.”

Still nothing.

“I have not forgotten my promise, Miss Mencher. I will collect you for conscription. No matter my uniform.”

Marcelina lost the last of her breakfast and quite possibly dinner.

The screen went black and she fumbled for the door. Let Siemowit see their mama home. He wanted to be the good son. Let him start trying. She would go clean up and be gone before they were home.

 

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31 Days - Day 11

The music was too loud and the lights were too bright. The combination did not leave Marcelina wanting to dance. Instead, it made her want to retreat. All of the doors out of the gym were watched. Volunteer parents here to make sure their darlings did not do anything unapproved of at the dance. She hadn’t wanted to come tonight.

Wouldn’t have come, but Jory had bought tickets and said he wanted to take his girlfriend. He’d never called her that before. They’d been friends for ten years. Sure, the last year or so they’d been friends who kissed, but neither had ever said that word. So, Marcelina had dug in the attic for one of her babcia’s old dresses. Before she’d gotten old, her babcia had been beautiful. Marcelina felt a twinge of jealousy every time she saw the old photos of her.

Painstaking alterations, bandaged fingers, and two frantic calls to Natalia had left her with the result she wore. Compared to everyone else the simple red dress with gold lace trim around the collar was old and dull. She knew this, because several people told her. Charlotte had sneered from across the room, but Marcelina had only laughed. Charlotte may have hated what she wore, but she mostly hated Marcelina for a different reason.

The reason sat next to her in a black suit. He’d been by her side all evening. They had tried to dance once, but dissolved into laughter. Neither of them were very good despite the mandatory lessons in school. They’d tried to talk, but it was too loud. So, they sat next to each other and occasionally spelled something out in sign language. At least the bright light made that possible.

She wanted to kiss him, but that was Not Allowed. They held hands and sat with their chairs touching. Once, he’d put his arm around her, but a chaperone had stopped that as soon as they were noticed. Their hands, clasped together, rested on his leg. His leg rested against hers. It was enough for now.

At first she’d thought the trembling came from the bass turned up too loud. Then she watched the tables rattle. Before she could say anything, Jory was on his feet. She stood as well. It was that or release his hand.

The sirens went off.

Kids screamed.

Marcelina and Jory both rolled their eyes and tugged each other towards the exit. Perfect. There was a twinge, a small one, at the thought. The sirens meant something bad, but it also got them out of this terrible dance. The building was chaos as kids forgot their drills and parents tried to herd them outside.

Someone screamed.

Someone else fainted. Or, at least pretended to faint.

Marcelina and Jory ducked around the corner and raced towards the stairs at the end of the hall. They should be going outside with the others, but instead they raced down darkened halls towards the stairs to the roof. Even the red blink of cameras was missing so it had to be serious.

The door flew open with a bang that was sure to be missed in the chaos. They closed it with more care. Having already planned to be up here their stuff was carefully tucked between two soot stained chimney stacks.

“What is it?”

Jory shook his head and pointed.

Planes flew overhead and in the distance there was a crimson burst of light followed by another tremor. Jory’s arms wrapped around her and Marcelina hated he would feel her shaking. She should be stronger.

“It’s the factories. Did your father?”

“Tata worked late.”

He would hear the whisper. Over the explosion of sound as the factory disappeared into a collapsed wreck of flames and concrete he heard her words. When her knees gave out he helped her down to the roof and she worried about the stains it would leave on her dress. The dress she would burn anyway.

Jory held her as she rocked back and forth, crying because she knew. Her tata was gone. It was only her and mama now. Siemowit did not count in the least.

“I have to go home.”

The words were a death sentence. She knew it. He knew it. All of their plans were for tonight. If they didn’t go tonight there was little chance they could pull it off.

“You should still go.” Marcelina grabbed Jory’s arms and stared at him. “Go, Jory. If you’re ok…I’ll be ok.”

“You know I’m not going without you.”

“I know. Because you’re dumb.”

“No, you’re dumb.”

“I love you.”

“Yea, well, I love you too. Even if you’re dumb.”

She couldn’t, quite, smile, but the tears stopped. Even though she’d said it, she couldn’t quite bring herself to move just yet. Jory sat with her and they watched helicopters fly by and ignored the announcements from circling cars for everyone to stay in their homes. Nothing to fear.

In a way, the announcement was correct. What else did she have to fear? Marcelina stood and headed for the edge of the roof. Onto the ground she tossed their bags.

“Want me to go first?” Jory asked as he joined her at the edge of tarpaper and brick.

“You only want to be able to look up my dress.”

Even in the dark his fair, freckled skin visibly blushed. She felt magnanimous in her freedom from fear. Marcelina pressed against him and listened to his breathing change. Not tonight. If this hadn’t happened, maybe, but not tonight.

As if he sensed her thought he pulled away after a short kiss. Marcelina sat on the edge of the roof and watched him swing his legs over. He climbed down and when he was halfway to the ground she began to work her way down the wall as well.

They walked home, ignoring the main roads, and holding hands as sirens and warnings continued to go off around them. 


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31 Days - Day 10

No one ever came up into the attic. Except when they brought boxes up here and hurried to leave. Thick dust covered everything, but Marcelina didn’t mind. The fact no one came up here was what mattered. No longer short enough to walk, she’d crouched down to make it to the far corner.

Once there she’d checked the fort for signs of tampering. If Siemowit knew they came up here he’d tattle. Everything looked ok under the stacked boxes and old sheets strung across them. The sheets helped protect the sleeping bags and snacks from dust. They also made the little space stuffier in the summer, but it was winter now and the extra protection from the drafty window would be nice.

“You know, I was in our attic once,” Jory said after they were inside the fort.

Marcelina shoved a pillow under her butt before she sat on the sleeping bag. Jory dug out the box of snacks, most donated by him, and joined her. When they were kids they could share the pillow. They could still share the scratchy blanket they wrapped around their shoulders.

“There was nothing in there.”

Marcelina listened to the quiet crinkle of a candy wrapper as he opened it. Having never been in his attic she would take his word. After he tore the candy in half and she had her own sweet, sticky piece, she spoke.

“What do you do when someone dies?”

“I don’t know.”

“We box them up and pretend like we don’t miss them.”

He kissed her. It was hard to feel the weight of sadness when they kissed. They had definitely gotten better since their first. Although, sometimes it was still awkward and they’d end up giggling. Like the first time they’d used their tongues. They’d not kissed again for weeks after that time.

“Do you ever open them?”

“No.”

“Do you want to open some?”

He’d never asked before. They’d been sneaking up here for years, but this had never come up. Maybe he wondered what stuff of hers they’d store after she was dead. She would miss him when she died in a few years. Not enough time.

“I- I don’t know.”

“If you want, we can.” Chocolate, sticky fingers entwined. “Or we could kiss some more.”

“Or both.”

“You never want to decide, Marcelina.”

“I want to do everything.” Because she only had a few years.

They wiped their fingers off on a ratty towel and crawled from the fort. Herbert’s stuff was up close to the trapdoor. At first, she thought of going there, but the pain was still so fresh. Instead, she squeezed through carefully labeled boxes to reach dziadzio’s stuff. His name was on the box and she traced the faded, markered letters with her thumb.

After she settled onto her butt she pulled the top box into her lap. Jory sat beside her and before she opened it she kissed his cheek. He grinned at her and her heart stopped. Once, she’d mentioned him to her mother and something must have given her away because she had a three-hour lecture on how she was too young for anything and better not be doing anything. Marcelina had told Jory the next day between fumbling, innocent kisses and he’d laughed and grinned at her that way.

“What are these?”

“His journals.”

Jory leafed through one before setting it down with a caution he used for her sake.

“It’s in Polish.”

“Well, duh, dumbee. He was Polish.”

“So are you, but you write in English.”

“Yea, but I read Polish too.”

“So, what’d he say?”

“I’m not telling.”

Marcelina lifted the book up and read the first page. Jory’s fingers thrummed with impatience on the dusty floor. Behind the journal she hid a smile.

“Jory!” His name was a squeal as he tackled her and began to tickle her as he held her on the floor.

“Tell me.”

“No,” she laughed. Her fingers loosened on the book and it fell to the floor. Before she could grab it he kissed her again. This was different than earlier because she felt him, warm and familiar, atop her. If he tried anything… He wouldn’t. But if he did.

“Read it, Marcelina,” he said when his face hovered over hers.

Normally, she would watch him talk. His lips smiled when talking about almost anything and she loved the freckles that danced across his cheeks. This time, in the dust and dim light, she watched the way their hair looked when it touched. She loved his red hair and had less affection for her own heavy, black locks.

“Now?” she asked. “Read it now?”

“No. Read it later and then you can tell me what you want to share.”

“Then what will we do now?”

“Comic quiz.”

Marcelina laughed and shoved him off her. It was that or kiss him again and she knew, somehow, that it would be dangerous to kiss him now. Her mother wasn’t entirely wrong when she said they were too young. For now. Marcelina had promised herself she would not be like Natalia and wait until it was too late.

“And when you lose?” she asked as they dusted each other off and replaced the box. The journal she carried back to the fort.

“Ha! I won’t lose.”

“When you lose,” Marcelina repeated with a smirk, “You have to come to the reservoir with me tomorrow.”

Jory laughed and threw himself onto his stomach in their fort as he reached for his stack of comics. He would lose. He always lost. Sometimes she worried he’d let her win, but the one time she’d asked, years ago, he’d punched her. Losing to a girl, he’d said, was better than cheating. 

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31 Days - Day 9

 

The invitation had never come, but Marcelina had expected the lack of arrival. Jory had warned her in advance. Although, she hadn’t told her parents. Instead, she’d shuffled around the house and whimpered whenever she looked at the calendar. Three hours of sighs, slammed doors, and sniffling earned her freedom.

Marcelina grabbed her bike and pedaled as fast as her recent growth spurt allowed. Every time her legs came up, her knees hit the handlebars. By the time she was halfway to the Super Funtime Land her knees were bruised. The jarring, endless loop of laughing clowns hurt her head already and she only caught the faintest whiff of noise.

How had Jory’s parents decided this was the place to bring him? He turned thirteen today, not six. Probably Charlotte’s mother’s idea. Her parents had become such good friends with his. It made her stomach flutter like the time she’d eaten bad fish when she thought of the time they spent together. Which was why, when she put her hand in her pocket, she was comforted by the crinkle of paper.

“He likes me.”

Sometimes, when she was lying in bed and she missed everyone and was frozen in fear she would say those words. Her. Not as a substitute to Zuza because he’d never known her. Not as someone second best. Her heart beat faster than the hurried bike ride would account for now. The inescapable truth was, if she had to live without Jory, she wouldn’t. How could she? It was a heavy truth to bear at thirteen, but she bore it alone.

She stashed her bike in the bushes and crept towards the parking lot. Her and Jory had been doing this for years so she sat and waited until she saw a large group leaving. Kids tore off wristbands and tossed them into the return bags near the exits. As they milled she stood and paced her steps evenly.

At the bag she glanced around and then drove her hand into it as fast as she could. A handful of wristbands came with her and she retreated to the bushes where her bike was hidden. Out of the dozen or so she’d snatched only one would work. Strapped to her wrist she dropped the others on the ground near the bag.

The group was piling into cars so she raced up to the entrance.

“Welcome to Super Funtime Land, the best place in the whole country. We give thanks to our supreme President.”

Ugh. Marcelina glanced behind her and then back at the bored looking girl in uniform.

“I’m so, so sorry! I left my inhaler inside. Please. Can I run in and get it? They’re leaving in a minute.”

The girl glanced down at Marcelina’s wristband and shrugged.

It was always this easy. Not that she blamed them. If she had to listen to the screeching of spoiled kids underwritten by maniacal, mechanical clown laughter she’d not care either. Marcelina rushed, drawing in great gulps of air as she went. The trick was to pull off the delicate balance of, “I need to breathe better” versus “I need medical attention.”

There were small signs indicating parties and after searching she found Jory’s. She couldn’t get in to the party, but she could lurk nearby. Normally, impatience would win, but this was Jory and his birthday. For him she’d do almost anything.

“Psst.”

Did her smile seem too large? Marcelina couldn’t help it. Jory peeked out of a door marked employees only. He waved his hand and she darted over to squeeze between him and the doorframe. Despite her mother’s constant reminders, she was too young she’d begun to feel something when her and Jory touched. Not that they touch touched. Neither of them wanted that from the each other.

Even in the dim light she could see his worried expression. The grin normally ready for her was nowhere to be seen. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Marcelina didn’t think, only moved, and Jory was in her arms and she hugged her best friend until he squeaked. It didn’t work. Until he squirmed away she made no move to let him go.

“What is it?”

“It’s my mom.”

“Is she ok?” Marcelina did not like Jory’s mom. The feeling was mutual. Although, Marcelina had cause and his mom did not.

“She’s pregnant.”

Marcelina shook her head. No. No, no, no, no. It couldn’t be. This time he reached for her and they stood in the dim supply closet, clinging to each other, as the world moved on outside the door.

“Some government man came a couple months ago, I guess. Said they could get something if they had another kid.”

“It’s my fault.”

“What? Don’t be dumb, Marcelina.”

“It is! It’s my fault. Jory, I am so sorry. It’s my fault. All mine.”

“Ugh. Don’t be dumb, Marcelina.”

“You said that.” The words were mumbled and tear streaked, but they both managed a smile.

“It’s because of Herbert, isn’t it?”

She managed a nod. He hugged her tighter. What could she say? Marcelina rarely lost her words. Her family said she had too many. Once, when she was thought to be in bed, she heard her mother complain she had all her dziadzio’s words as well. It had made her happy to hear it.

“Marcelina, it’s ok. Just because we can be conscripted doesn’t mean we will be.”

“You’re wrong.”

“You don’t know.”

“That man. He said he’d come for me. I was ok with it. I mean, I’m scared. So scared. But, I thought it would just be me and so what? You’re the only one who’ll miss me.”

Jory did not, she noted, argue the point.

“I was ok. Because you would remember me. And not be with Charlotte because I would come back as an upiór and you would be miserable!”

“Idiot.”

“Shut up!”

“Make me!”

So, she did. Marcelina had no practical knowledge of kissing. The contact of her lips against his made her palms sweaty. It could also have been nerves. Had he kissed other girls? Would he find her woefully inadequate and laugh?

She did not know the answer to the first question, but he did not laugh. Not even when her thin pressed lips pulled away from his surprised ones.

“Happy birthday,” she whispered.

“Was that my present?”

Marcelina noted how his fingers had laced with hers. Now then, was the time to do it. Either speak or be a coward. She would not be a coward. Never.

“My dziadzio met my babcia when they were thirteen. He said he knew right away. Before he even kissed her, he knew she was the one.”

Jory stared at her, but his fingers tightened in the tangled digits of their two hands.

“I love you Jory Daveth Couch. I love you and I will not let them hurt you.”

This time, he kissed her. It was still awkward so she thought he’d not much more experience than her, if any. None of that mattered.

“I love you, Marcelina Beatrycze Mencher.”

That mattered. 

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31 Days - Day 8

“Happy birthday to you.”

“Happy birthday to you.”

“Happy birthday, Marcelina.”

She only half listened to the singing. The singing was only important because it would be followed by the sekacz. Her mother only made it on her birthday because she said it was too much trouble. Marcelina was fine with getting it once a year, but she wished it weren’t when she had to share with so many.

Not that she’d invited a lot of people. Jory was here, of course, and a few kids she could stand. No Charlotte. Not that Charlotte would have accepted the invitation. Well, she might have since Jory was here.

As the birthday girl she was given the first piece of sekacz. Marcelina did not wait for the others before she ate hers. As the birthday girl, she could do what she wanted. No matter what Siemowit had said earlier.

He was a lost cause. Whatever they’d put in the water (all the urban legends said it was true) he’d drank twice what he needed. Siemowit lived and breathed the government these days and always told her she should be more thankful.

Thankful for Herbert’s death. Thankful that her own was only a few years away. Thankful for nothing. She’s growled and only the knowledge her parents would cancel her party kept her first from connecting with his face. He’d known it and retreated to some meeting or other.

An excellent birthday gift, she thought.

“Here.”

Marcelina looked up and saw Jory across from her in the grass. The rest of her guests had been left on their own the whole, short party. They’d seemed to accept her abandonment of them.

Jory held out his sekacz. He grinned as her eyes widened. She looked down at the cake and shook her head.

“Aww. Come on. Happy birthday and all.”

“I should say no.”

“But you won’t.”

In response, she took the plate. Jory laughed and scooted closer so their knees touched. It worked to shield her from her mother’s scolding for eating her guest’s cake. In thanks, she broke off a piece and held it out to him. He grinned again before he leaned even closer and plucked the cake from her fingers.

“What would Charlotte say?” she teased. “She’s always telling everyone you’re her boyfriend.” At twelve, her mother had informed her, she was too young to use that word. Which was fine by Marcelina. Jory was her best friend. She wouldn’t be a girl like Charlotte.

“Charlotte’s a pain,” Jory moaned. “She’s always bugging me. I mean, she’s ok, I guess, but she’s always bugging me.”

“You said that.”

“Always. Bugging. Meeeeeeee.”

“Quit it!”

Marcelina flung the last bite of cake right at Jory, but he ducked.

“You wasted cake!”

“I did not!”

“You did! So I am not giving you a birthday present.”

“Fine. I didn’t want one.”

“Liar.”

“Marcelina! Come here! It is time to say goodbye.”

“Ugh.”

Jory leapt to his feet and held out his hands. Marcelina let him help her up. He pulled his hands away and ran off, but he left a scrap of paper behind. Marcelina shoved it into her pocket.

There was no chance to look at it until she was getting ready for bed.

Happy birthday, Marcelina. You’re the best. Charlotte is stupid. I will always like you first.

She had a year to try to top his present, but she had no idea how she would manage.

 


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31 Days - Day 7

The thunderstorm had been a welcome reprieve from the heat of the day. It had also ruined the outing. Children ran screaming for the bus as if a single drop of rain would sizzle through them. Marcelina thought it all amusing.

“Babies,” she said.

Despite the dress her mother had shoved her into before school, Marcelina had climbed her favorite tree in the park. With the thunderstorm she knew she should get down, but she didn’t want to go back to school. Every day, more and more, she hated the grey brick building. Grey brick and blinking red lights. Because the cameras had increased. They were everywhere.

“You should get down.”

Jory sat on the branch under hers. His grin made her smile. She didn’t let him see the whole smile because he might misinterpret the smugness. Well, he might see it. There was no way to interpret it wrong.

Charlotte had wanted him to go paddling on the lake with her and her friends, but he’d stayed with Marcelina. Charlotte, wavy hair and perfectly pressed pink dress, had flounced away. Likely she was on the bus, squealing about her hair.

“I want to see the storm.”

“Idiot.”

“Brat.”

“I’m coming up.”

Marcelina scooted out farther on the branch to let Jory get up beside her. He reached for her hand and they swung their legs together as they watched the clouds move swiftly across the sky. It was hard to see with the leaves. If they were higher they could see better, but she knew.

Knew that if she suggested it he would insist they climb down. He was always looking out for her. It was why she tried not to worry about Charlotte all the time. Jory was hers. He had been since kindergarten. Even their parents could not keep them apart.

Only one thing would.

Conscription was only six, seven at most, years away. Jory would not have to worry. His family knew the right people. Plus, he was an only child. No family could have their only child taken. Marcelina’s only hope was Siemowit. If he had some fall from grace and wound up with the ground troops she would be safe.

Except, she wouldn’t. The captain still haunted her. He wouldn’t care about the rules.

Marcelina looked down as the tree swayed in a heavy gust of wind. There was one way to avoid it. If it worked.

Jory squeezed her hand and she looked up to see him grinning. 

“I have something for you.”

He pulled his hand away from her and reached into his pocket. Marcelina’s breath caught as he rocked forward. If he fell…

Except, he didn’t. Thankfully. Because then she would have fallen with him. Jory was her best friend and she would go anywhere with him.

“Here.”

He held his fist out and she opened her hand so he could lay something in the flat of her palm. As soon as his hand moved she looked down. The wind gusted and the tree shook, but Jory grabbed her hand before she could drop the present.

“No way,” she breathed. This was impossible. Even Jory’s family wasn’t this well off.

“How?”

“I told you I had friends other than you, dork.”

Marcelina, heedless of the potential fall and subsequent death, lunged for her best friend and hugged him. Worried about dropping the gift, she pulled away long enough to drape it around her neck. It was the best gift ever.

“You are the best friend ever. Even if you hang out with Charlotte.”

Jory groaned and reached into the neck of his t-shirt. Marcelina expected him to pull out a different pendant. Instead, to match the one she wore, he had a Claw symbol etched on a silver coin. The ads said they’d only made a thousand of them and he’d gotten two!

“I love you, Jory Couch. I always will.”

“Yea, well, I love you too, Marcelina. But don’t be weird about it.” He was quiet as the rain shifted direction. “And don’t tell Charlotte.”

Marcelina laughed.

 

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31 Days - Day 6

The gray dress was too tight across the shoulders. Shiny black shoes pinched at her feet. Worst of all, she wasn’t allowed to cover her face so her runny nose, hopelessly red and snotty, was visible to all. It was embarrassing. Embarrassing and too true. She did not want anyone to see her like this, but her mother had refused to allow her a veil.

Marcelina sat at the front of the church with the rest of her family. Herbert was being given a state funeral. They’d unlocked the church for the day, but it was ugly inside. Gone were the stained glass windows she’d viewed only in secret pictures her babcia had shown her. The rich, shiny wooden pews were replaced with utilitarian metal benches. She hated it.

Marcelina ran the scratchy, gray wool sleeve of her dress across her nose. Siemowit elbowed her afterwards, but she ignored him. He did not understand because he would never be conscripted. No, now that he was thirteen he’d enlisted in the Presidential Honor Core. They never fought. Only paraded around in special uniforms and turned in dissenters. Dziadzio would be embarrassed. Because he was dead, Marcelina was furious for him.

The state appointed speaker droned on. None of his words mattered. Herbert had been killed in a fight that didn’t matter. The same man who had come to take him away had shown up with the news. All so he could smirk at Marcelina. On the way out, he’d reminded her of his promise to come take her. Her family had mistaken her locking herself in her room as grief. It had been terror.

Marcelina rubbed at her eyes and stood up.

“Sit down,” her father whispered.

“I have to pee.”

Siemowit’s eyes narrowed as he squared his back. If he tried to take her to the toilet she would pinch him. Luckily for him, he only glared as she slid down the bench and hurried down the center aisle. Who was she bothering? No one was here but them.

Three wrong turns later she found the bathrooms on the lower level of the church. Marcelina locked the door and sat on the floor. With her knees to her chest she rocked back and forth as she tumbled into the hole in her heart. Why couldn’t it have been Siemowit? She would not have begrudged Zuza him. How dare she get Herbert?

The basement was quiet other than a rattle of pipes. She screamed. Hiccupped sobs broke through her screams and she stood up and walked to the mirror.

She looked ugly. Nose dripping, mouth hanging open, and eyes too red to be human. She hated the way she looked now so she slammed her fist into the glass. The tinkling shatter of glass as it hit the sink and the floor made her feel better. Even the pain from her split knuckles didn’t hurt.

“That was not wise.”

Marcelina spun around, but no one was there. Nothing in here would protect her. She walked to the closed stall door and kicked it open. No one was there.

“The kitchen.”

Should she go? Well, she wasn’t a coward. Maybe she was too old to believe she was a comic book hero, The Claw outstripped Ranger One in her esteem these days, but she was no coward. Marcelina found thin, harsh toilet paper to wrap her cut knuckles and watched as the blood seeped through.

Her feet led her down the hall despite her never having been here before. A pinging noise accompanied the scent of tea and she hurried to see what awaited her. It could be her death, but at this point she was indifferent to the idea.

“No one’s going to die. Although, it was a near thing.” The voice belonged to a woman. Marcelina stared at her, knowing it was rude. The woman’s face was covered in scar tissue and she was missing one eye. The scars ran down her neck, she noticed, and left her wondering if they were all over.

“They are. I was burned. It was supposed to be until I was dead, but I managed to crawl out.”

Marcelina shivered. “The government did it, didn’t they?”

“He did say you were astute. Of course, you’re also angry right now, aren’t you?”

“I hate them all.”

“Excellent. Our mutual friend will be pleased.”

“Who?”

“Ah, not so astute.”

Marcelina scowled and clenched her hands.

The scarred woman poured tea into a battered tin cup. She poured a second cup and added sugar to them both. Marcelina, wary and still annoyed, crept closer and sat at the counter. The tea received a sniff, but she didn’t think anything was wrong, so she drank it.

“I am surprised your little friend is not with you.”

“Jory is not little!” Who else would she mean? “And he couldn’t. Family only. Just my parents and me.” A sip of tea was followed by a slurred, “And Siemowit. He’s a jerk.”

The cup was caught before it fell from her unresponsive hand. Marcelina tried to stand, but tumbled back off her stool. The scarred woman caught her as easily as the cup. Sleep whispered to her and as Marcelina succumbed she felt the toilet paper being picked off her knuckles. It made them bleed again.

When she woke up she was lying on the floor of the bathroom. Her knuckles bled no longer, but she rubbed at her eyes to try to clear her head. A knock on the door had her sit up too quickly and she yelled as the top of her head hit the bottom of the sink. One hand rubbed her head as she stumbled to the door.

“We have to go,” Siemowit said as soon as the door opened. His mouth fell open and he stepped back.

“I don’t look that bad.”

“What did you do?”

“Shut up, butthead.”

Marcelina shoved past him to head back to their parents.

 


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31 Days - Day 5

Marcelina stood at the corner of the building and tapped her foot back against the cornerstone as she waited. Right around the corner, the red blinking of the camera taunted her. It told her she could not step onto the playground. Not yet. The time had not come yet.

It was not her fault she’d finished her test and grown bored. Why should she be forced to sit and read some stupid book when she could be outside on the first nice day since they returned to school after the President’s Winter Celebration? If she stayed where she was, she would be ok until the bell rang.

Once the bell rang, she would be able to talk to Jory. She had to talk to Jory. After what she’d heard this morning he needed to be spoken to so she could learn the truth. If what Samantha had said was true…

Marcelina did not know what she’d do if what she’d heard was the truth.

A bell rang inside and she heard feet marching to the door. Soon she could slip in with the rest of them and it would be fine. Once she did that she could find Jory. The eldest students, by grace of being the eldest, came out first. Marcelina shrank back as she saw Siemowit. He would tattle. It was his last year here and he was intent on making it miserable for her.

Once Jory’s class appeared she slid closer to the stairs. His feet touched the playground and she grabbed his hand and pulled him backwards. They were probably ok here. The stairs would block the camera on the door.

“What’s the deal?”

Marcelina thought he sounded guilty. Maybe he even looked guilty. She didn’t know guilt on someone else.

“Samantha said you kissed Charlotte this morning in the library.”

“Samantha is an idiot.”

“So is Charlotte, but you kissed her. Didn’t you? How could you?”

“What’s the big deal?”

“Why did you do it?”

“I never said I did.”

Marcelina blinked because Jory looked watery when she stared at him.

“Charlotte was right.”

“About being stupid?”

Jory scowled at her and she ran her hand across her eyes, surprised to find them wet.

“No, she said you would cry when she found out.”

Marcelina’s lips pressed together. She shoved Jory backwards and then stood right in front of him. His eyes grew wide.

“I did not cry.”

“Did to.”

She watched as her arm shot out and her first connected with his mouth. Her first thought was she should apologize. Her second thought was that if he told, she could be kicked out of school. Not that she minded. However, her parents would be furious.

So busy contemplating the future, Marcelina forgot the present. Jory’s punch hit her in the chin and she was embarrassed at the noise she made. Not that it stopped her from shoving him. By the time they were pulled apart they both had bloody lips.

Jory had lost a tooth.

Marcelina had a black eye.

Both of their parents forbid them to ever say a word to one another again.

That night, they both downloaded sign language lessons from the internet.

 

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31 Days - Day 4

The power had been out for a week.

As the entire neighborhood sat in darkness they listened to the thunder of great guns overhead. A news report shortly before the televisions died had said the enemies from the west had come to tear land away from the rightful owners. Marcelina disbelieved the news in general. How had they even gotten this far?

The soldiers had come around and informed everyone there were to be no lights. No communication devices were to be used. Nothing. Marcelina was bored. She could not even do homework without light. Everyone sat huddled in the living room as if being together was better. Unsure why dying together was preferred to alone she’d retreated to her room. Besides, no one had been by her dziadzio when he’d died.

Marcelina did not want to think about him. It made her sad. He was in heaven now, with Zuza. By now he probably loved her more because she’d been perfect.

Her head shook and she quietly shoved her desk against her door. The wind gusted against the heavy curtains when she opened the window. A quiet squeak seemed too loud in the oppressive silence of the night. Marcelina slipped out into the shadows and closed her window almost all the way. No one should notice.

Jory would be home. Everyone was home. No one was allowed out on the street, but she didn’t need to use the street to get to him. They had a secret pathway between yards to get to each other.

Once safely in his fenced backyard she crept towards the house and threw a toy soldier at his window. That done, she retreated to the clubhouse in the tree. They had been stockpiling snacks for months so could have a quiet party together. Too dark to read comics, unfortunately. Climbing the ladder was always easy and she hopped onto the wooden floor with a grin.

Marcelina froze.

She was not alone.

“Jory?”

Nothing, but she saw a shadow move in the corner. Her brain screamed at her to leave. What if this was an enemy soldier? What if she was going to be killed?

“Not Jory. Come away from the exit.”

The voice was older, male, and one she’d never heard. Marcelina had heard all the tales about what the enemy did to those they captured. She was sure they were fake. Positive, in fact. Except, well, she was alone and it was dark and no one knew where she was now. For all she knew, Jory’s whole family was dead already.

“If you hurt Jory, I will kill you.” The words were out before she could stop them. Marcelina closed her eyes, expecting a bullet now. Instead, she received a laugh. A warm laugh that brushed away the cold chill seeped into her body from fear.

“I’m not trying to hurt anyone. What’s your name?”

Marcelina thought she heard someone at the bottom of the tree. Was Jory on his way up? Should she warn him?

“What’s yours?”

“You first.”

“I’m The Claw.”

More laughter had her edging closer to the shadows in the corner. Jory would be safe up here. If that was him. Maybe it was soldiers.

“The Claw, a pleasure. You seem so much bigger in the comics.”

“I won’t hurt you,” Marcelina promised solemnly. Over the years she’d begun to develop a sympathy for the supposed villain. “I’m not even really a bad guy. People say that. It’s not true.”

“People say that about me as well.”

Marcelina watched as the shadows lightened and she saw whom she talked with tonight.

“Holy dirtbag! You’re one of them!”

“One of whom?”

“Traitors. Enemies of the people.”

Jory had arrived. Marcelina darted back and grabbed his hand before he might run off and tattle. He gave a half-hearted tug to get away.

“Yes, that’s what the news calls us. When they even acknowledge we exist.”

“The news lies.”

No one responded to this truth so Marcelina decided everyone else knew as well as her. She couldn’t have argued anyway. The creature, man, slithered forward.

Instead of feet he had a tail. Like a snake. His eyes glowed yellow in the darkness and there was no skin or hair on his whole body. Only scales. Even on his heavy arms. Marcelina wondered what he felt like so she released Jory’s hand despite his quiet protest.

Marcelina marched forward and reached out. Her fingers ran along his arm and he grinned. He was much bigger this close. What she’d thought was hair was more like a cobra’s hood. He spread it out and she jumped pack.

“I would never attack The Claw,” he said. “Professional courtesy.”

Even in the darkness, she was sure he saw her grin.

“Marcelina,” Jory hissed. From behind he grabbed her hand and pulled her back. “You leave her be!”

“Yes, I should be leaving. I wouldn’t want to endanger you.”

“We can help you.”

“Marcelina, no!”

“I am not Marcelina! I am The Claw.”

“If he’s caught and we’re with him, they’ll kill us. And our families.”

Her enthusiasm drained away at his words. Jory was right. The government wouldn’t mind killing children. Then it would hold the parents responsible and they would die as well. Or worse.

“He is right.” The serpent-man said. He slithered closer and Marcelina took his hand. He grinned, she thought, and pulled his hand free to touch her forehead. He had scales even on his fingers. Jory stiffened when the serpent-man touched his forehead, but he didn’t back away.

“Be careful, children.”

“You too,” Marcelina whispered.

They watched him slither, climb down the ladder and once he was on the ground Jory pulled her back and into the clubhouse. He shook, but so did she. They clung to each other the rest of the night even though they both knew they’d be in trouble come morning.

 

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31 Days - Day 3

Marcelina kicked the front door.

She sighed as loud as she was able.

She kicked the door again.

Someone was home. She heard people talking. The doorbell was not to be used. Her parents had made that clear after last summer when her and Jory had rung it in a never ending cacophony of annoying jingles. Still, she’d been out here for at least an hour. Maybe longer!

So, she rang the bell.

No one came to the door.

She rang it again.

On the fifth ring the front door swung open. Herbert stood there, shaking and pale. Something was wrong.

“Herbie, is it ok?”

He stood blocking the door, but she was slender and slid right past him. He grabbed the back of her hoodie and she jerked backwards. If he was keeping her away she wanted to know why. So, she slid her arms free and he was left holding her backpack and hoodie as she raced further into the house.

“Marcelina!”

She heard him running after her, but she ignored him. The voices, the weeping, it was all coming from her parents’ room. Siemowit’s bedroom door was open a crack and he peeked out when she thudded past. Well, he would do as he’s told!

Marcelina skidded to a stop in her parents’ room and saw her Tata and Mama on their bed. They held each other and wept. For the first time, she didn’t want to know what was wrong.

“Marcelina, come away.” Natalia was behind her. She was not family. Why was she here if something was wrong?

“No. Tata? What is it? Is it dziadzio? Did he die?” Her dziadzio had been in the hospital for two weeks now. Her parents had explained he was very old and would go to Heaven soon. Where Zuza would be waiting for him. Because Zuza got everything Marcelina wanted.

“Please, Marcelina,” her mama said.

“What is it?”

“Marcelina!” Her tata only used that tone when it was truly bad so Marcelina backed out of the doorway. She darted past Natalia and shoved open Siemowit’s door. Her brother would know something. More importantly, she could make him tell her. She’d caught him with their dziadzio’s private magazines.

“I’m not saying a word.”

Siemowit sat on his bed leafing through a comic book. Ranger One was on the cover, but so was Angel. Marcelina hated when Angel was in the comics. She was not nice. Not like the villains. The villains were supposed to be not nice, but Angel was supposed to be a good guy and she was not.

“You will to!”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Get out.”

Normally, Marcelina would never have listened to him, but he didn’t sound mad or bossy. He sounded scared. She’d never heard him scared.

Marcelina fled to her room.

Under her mattress her phone buzzed. Her family didn’t know she had one. Jory had given her his old one. His family had more money. They’d not even cared! Her family would be mad.

“Hello?” she whispered.

“Marcelina? Are you ok? I’ve been calling. Is Herbert ok?”

“Herbert? He’s fine. Why wouldn’t he be? What’s going on?” Her voice rose in worried anger, but she dropped it down to whisper, “What’s wrong with Herbert?”

“No one told you?”

“No one tells me anything.”

“The government, Marcelina. They will be coming for him. The government has said all seniors in high school will be picked up for conscription.”

Marcelina dropped the phone on the floor and raced from her room. She found Herbert sitting on the couch with Natalia trying not to weep. Shoving his girlfriend aside she climbed into her brother’s lap.

“No.”

“Marcelina, go to your room.”

“No! Herbert, they can’t take you! I won’t let them!”

He gently pushed her from his lap. She glared at him, but spun around. Without a word she raced to her room. Jory was still on the phone.

“Will you come over and help me protect him?”

“Marcelina, I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s the government. They’ll be mad. My parents say we have to do as they say.”

“Fine! I’ll do it myself!”

In her mind she flung the phone across the room. It shattered. She felt better. What she actually did was hang up and hide the phone again. Maybe it would feel better to break it, but if she couldn’t stop the soldiers she would want Jory again. When she was not mad at his being a coward.

The costume almost didn’t fit. It was a year old, but she would never get rid of it. Marcelina locked her bedroom door before she took it out. Looking in the mirror she righted her hat and put on her goggles. The cape only hit her mid-calf. She’d grown a lot, especially over the last summer.

“I am The Claw,” she whispered to herself.

Then she climbed out of her window and walked around the house to the front door. The plastic sword sat in her lap and she swiped her plastic, glitter covered claw through the hair. No one would take Herbert. She’d promised dziadzio she would never let anyone come for her family.

She’d promised.

Down the street she saw the trucks come. White trucks with the government symbol painted on them in bright red and blue. Marcelina stood as they drew closer. There were three, but the other two stopped at either end of the street. They would go along, one side and the other, and take people. She would not let it happen! Not here.

Two soldiers walked up the cracked sidewalk towards her porch.

“We are here for Herbert Mencher,” the shorter one said.

“He is not here. You go away.”

The sword in her hand felt light, but it didn’t matter. She had her claw and her sword. She swiped them both in front of her.

The taller soldier stepped closer to her, but she didn’t back up.

“We are here for Herbert Mencher,” he said more quietly. A perfectly reasonable voice.

She saw his insignia. A captain. Why was a captain here? There had been conscriptions not long after she’d started school. She remembered them, but only as something for others to worry over. Her dziadzio had taught her to read rank. None of them had been above corporal.

They must have known The Claw would be here.

“I am The Claw and this house is under my protection.”

“Is it now, Marcelina?”

How did he know her name? The shine in his blue eyes made her knees tremble. She would not back down. The Claw would not!

“I am not Marcelina! She is not here. I am The Claw and you will not take Herbert Mencher! Not even Siemowit and he’s an idiot!”

The short soldier rolled his eyes and pushed past her to ring the bell.

Marcelina screamed and whacked him with her sword. It broke against his armor. So, she raised her claw to swipe at him, but the taller soldier grabbed her as the door opened. Despite her shrieks he would not let her go.

Her red and silver boots kicked back against him, but he only laughed.

Herbert stood in the door and Marcelina screamed. They could not take him. Not her brother. Only, they didn’t say anything. He didn’t say anything. Her parents clutched each other in the living room. Natalia sat crumbled in the chair, sobbing silently. Siemowit was nowhere to be seen.

Someone had to stop them.

The tall soldier’s arms tightened around her until she couldn’t scream because she had no breath.

“I could kill you. No one would stop me.” His voice wasn’t angry. It was nothing. Marcelina quieted her screams.

“I’ll come for you personally when you’re old enough to be conscripted.” The promise made her shiver. He dropped her and she fell to the concrete as Herbert was marched away.

No one came from the house for her. They left her there to stand and walk inside. They were scared. She was angry.

Marcelina walked around the house instead to climb back in her window. She locked it and pushed her desk against the door. Her family was awful.

The phone buzzed.

“Marcelina?”

“Jory. I will never let them take you.”

“Marcelina? My parents said the soldiers said there was trouble at your place.”

“The Claw did what Ranger One would not. She defended her home. Jory? I am going to grow up and get bigger and stronger and I will do what I promised my dziadzio.”

“Marcelina?”

“I won’t always be seven years old, Jory Chance. And I will never ever forget today ever.”


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31 Days - Day 2

 

“No! I’m not going!”

“Now, Marcelina. Don’t be that way. You have been talking of nothing but this party for weeks.”

“A month,” Herbert said. “At least.”

“That is enough, Herbert. You are not helping. Now, Marcelina, go put on your costume.”

“Mama! I will not wear that costume. I will not be a princess! Natalia made my costume! I am going to be The Claw! She’s from our favorite show.”

“Marcelina, no. That is no costume for a girl. The character, he is a villain.”

“I know, Mama!” Marcelina rolled her eyes at her mother. As if she didn’t know The Claw was the villain on her favorite show. She watched it at Jory’s house every week since her own mama said no. “Jory is going to be Ranger One and we’re going to fight and everyone is super excited to watch!”

Herbert snickered. Natalia shook her head. They were in high school and she adored them. Unlike Siemowit who was still in elementary school like her and was an idiot. Her mother continued to hold the box with the princess costume. It was not hers. It was Zuza’s.

“If you do not go as a princess you cannot go. Do you want to disappoint your friends?”

Marcelina screamed.

Every word her dziadzio had ever whispered to her came out of her mouth with a roar. Oh, he would be in trouble, but mama was his daughter so how much trouble could it be? Her mama would have none of it and she marched to Marcelina and slapped her on the face.

“You are a rude daughter. Go to your room. You will go nowhere. No party and no trick or treating.”

“I hate you!” Marcelina screamed. “I hate you so much! I won’t ever be a stupid princess and I won’t ever be Zuza!”

Her mama dropped the costume to the clean carpet and clapped her hands over her mouth. Marcelina knew she’d gone too far. She’d never even said Zuza’s name. No one said her name when Marcelina was in the room. As she watched, her mama fled the living room to her bedroom. Marcelina stared, nose running and cheeks wet. All of her rage drained out and left her feet leaden. As if all of her childlike regret rooted her in place.

“Herbert?” she whispered.

He shook his head and stood to follow their mother. Natalia pulled her phone from her pocket and pretended to be busy. With nowhere else to go, she ran from the house. Natalia called after her, but she kept running because Natalia was not even family.

#

It was cold outside and Marcelina had no coat or shoes. At least, she thought as she shivered in Jory’s backyard, there was no snow. All the lights were on so she detoured towards the tree at the back of the yard. She would go to the clubhouse. They had candy and a couple of Jory’s tata’s old Army blankets.

Grabbing the rope ladder was difficult as her fingers didn’t want to bend. She blew on them and shoved them under her armpits. Babcia said it was not ladylike, but it worked. Once her fingers would grasp the rope she climbed up.

The clubhouse was cold and the first thing she did was find the blankets and wrap them tight around her body. Marcelina sat by the treasure box and dug out the last of the cookies from last week. They would still be good and she was hungry. She’d deliberately not eaten much at dinner to save room for goodies at the party. Now she wished she’d eaten more of the stew her mama had made.

“Marcelina.”

Jory whispered from under the tree. She didn’t respond, but tossed the last of her cookie down to the ground. Red hair and a worried grin popped up through the hole. He climbed up into the clubhouse and she opened the blankets for him to join her.

“I brought cider. I can’t stay long.”

He was warm and Marcelina clutched the thermos which was warmer. She could almost feel her toes and everything. From his pockets he pulled out a couple of crumbled brownies.

“Thank you. I’m sorry I can’t come.”

“Your mom called. She was mad.”

“She wanted me to be Zuza for Halloween.”

Jory was the only one she’d ever talked to about her dead sister. Her family refused. Well, her dziadzio would, but he always sounded so sad she did not. He had lost too many people. She knew because when he’d been drinking he would tell her tales. When he did that she would sit in his lap and hold his hand and promise she would grow up and be strong and protect everyone.

Dziadzio would laugh and say she was too little. Marcelina would promise to get bigger. The promise grew with every repetition. Now, she knew, she had to grow up and protect everyone. The words wrapped around her entire self. It was what she would be and no one would stop her.

“I have to go back. Your mom told my mom to tell you to get home now. But you don’t have to go. Stay here and I’ll bring you food again.”

They hugged before Jory scurried away. He would be back. He was her best friend and she knew he would help her someday. They would protect the world. And she would have a costume! Even better than The Claw’s! 

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31 Days - Day 1

“Couch. Jory Couch.”

The teacher’s voice grated through the high pitched laughter in the room. Twenty heads swiveled around to the stern man in the bad suit. A narrow-faced, freckled boy with ginger hair raised his hand. Marcelina, seated at a table in front of him, twisted around to identify this boy. He caught her staring and stuck out his tongue.

Boys!

The teacher’s voice droned on and Marcelina snuck a peek down at the new crayons in her lap. How she wanted to draw! When would they get to the drawing part?

“Mencher! Marcelina Mencher, raise your hand now!”

Marcelina shrank down in her chair. That tone of voice was familiar. Even if the person using it was not known. Her hand rose with a trembling slowness she knew, even at five, gave her away.

“You must pay attention, Marcelina.”

She nodded her head meekly. Everyone was staring. Most importantly, her new crayons were scattered on the floor. The colors, still bright, were no longer warming. Would she be allowed to pick them up? Rather than ask, she slid down in her chair and onto the floor under her table. The teacher said something, but she ignored him. Her other brother, Siemowit, had proclaimed from the lofty heights of third grade that kindergarten was for babies. Marcelina had hit him with her small fist and proclaimed herself no baby.

Then she’d been sent to bed with no piernik.

Once the crayons were in her hands she looked at the shoes of her classmates. Everyone had new shoes. They shone with the proclamation that no one had worn them before. New feet, new laces or buckles, and no scuff marks. Marcelina slid her own secondhand shoes off.

It was not as if they’d been used much, but that was why she hated them so. The shoes had been Zuza’s. Zuza, who had died two years ago when she was Marcelina’s age. Sometimes she still heard her parents crying when they thought her asleep. Her brothers pretended they were not sad, but everyone was sad.

Marcelina was the last. The youngest. But now, sometimes, she felt like she’d be doing everything twice. Because her parents would not think to themselves, “Today is Marcelina’s first day of school.” No, they would think, “Zuza’s first day would have been two years ago. Today is for her as well as Marcelina. Because Marcelina must live for her sister as well.”

It was a disturbing thought for a girl of five. Especially since, if pressed, she could not put it into words. Only feelings. It felt as if she must live for two. Be both daughters of the Mencher family.

The shoes were a constant reminder so she kicked them away. Her legs were strong and so the shoes skidded across the thin carpet and landed under another table. Against another foot. Marcelina was caught when a ginger-haired boy ducked his head down and grinned at her.

Because she could not talk, hiding as she was, she didn’t put the grin into words. Not the way her oldest brother would talk about his girlfriend’s smile or hair. Or other things when he also thought her asleep. It made her stomach feel funny, the boy’s grin, and so she grinned back.

Her eyes grew wide when he tugged off his shoes. He slid out of his chair and landed softly on his butt. Marcelina clapped a hand over her mouth to quiet her giggle. His shoes was kicked across the carpet. Not as well. She had to stretch her arm out to reach them.

He wore tennis shoes. They were white and she stroked the new footwear in wonder. Someday, in the far future it seemed, she would get shoes of her own. Not Zuza’s. When she looked up from the shoe he mimed putting it on.

Did he want to trade? But, he had boy shoes! And her shoes, scuffed Mary Janes of brown, were girl shoes. He slid her first shoe onto his foot. She tried his on with a bounced excitement. They fit! So, she slid his other shoe on. He was wearing hers! Marcelina had to keep from laughing.

She did.

He did not.

Strong fingers closed around her arm and Marcelina squeaked. The teacher, Mr. Vilhjalmsson, pulled her up to her feet. Jory stood as well and she thought that brave.

“Miss Mencher, what were you doing?”

“I dropped my crayons.”

“Jory has girl shoes! Jory has girl shoes!” The chorus was picked up by the class before Mr. Vilhjalmsson stopped them with a clap of his hands. Marcelina rubbed her arm where he’d held her. It didn’t hurt. It was the thought of being caught.

Would her parents be called? They would be disappointed. Zuza would not have been caught. She would have been a good student. Marcelina began to sob, unable to stop the overwhelming sense of failure she’d created in her head. Zuza would be looking down from Heaven. Mad. Upset that Marcelina could go to school and fail when she could not go and thrive.

The kids fell quiet, teasing forgotten as Marcelina held their attention. Twenty heads watched as Marcelina threw up her breakfast while still sobbing. Then the shrieking began and everyone raced away from her.

Everyone except Mr. Vilhjalmsson.

And Jory, but he only stared raptly at his brand new tennis shoes. No longer white. 

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My December Project

What am I doing this December? I'm taking a holiday! I want to focus on other stuff so all other projects are on hold. I'll finish Widowed Witch of the West in January. I'll work on assorted editing for projects in January as well.

For December I'm going to do something fun. I had a ball writing my short stories in October. Along that vein, I am going to be doing some free writing here, on my blog.

Every day between now and December 31st I am writing a chapter of an ongoing story. It will cover one event, in one year, of the lives of my characters. I have no idea what sort of backdrop this story will take place in front of right now. That will develop. It's a love story and it begins when the two characters, Jory and Marcelina are five years old. I'm thinking 500-1000 words a day. 

As with the short stories, I am writing and posting in a day so minimal edits will be done. If you want to follow the whole thing check back every day!

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Obligatory Fallout 4 Post About Romancing My Companion

Yes, I won Nano. No, the novel is not finished. So, I lost. In my head. Because usually I write the entire thing. Still, I am close. 

Yes, this is entirely the fault of Fallout 4. Which I resisted like the dickens until I hit that 50k and then I surrendered. Since then, I've played a lot and been reading all kinds of posts about the best companions and how to romance them and etc. You get a special perk when you reach the highest level of affinity. If they are romancable, you can do it then.

Not all companions can be in a relationship with you. 

I love Dogmeat. He is my boy! What a good dog! Who's a good dog? Dogmeat! Seriously, I love my dog. However, I hit a point where I wanted a companion who can range attack. Dogmeat, who loves you unconditionally no matter what, like a dog, does not shoot guns.

So, I brought out Preston Garvey. I like him. But, as has been said, he's basically a paladin. I am NOT good enough for him. He's always, you can do better, don't steal that, quit shooting! Also, I cannot romance someone named Preston. That is my brother's name. It feels weird. So, the weird and the dislike of lockpicking let me know that Olivia, my sole survivor, would never settle down to roam the Commonwealth with him.

Then, Olivia met the love of her post apocalyptic life. She was in Good Neighbor. A charming place. In the bar she met MacCready, RJ MacCready and it was, if not love at first sight, an excellent match! He's a mercenary. She bought his gun. MacCready is NOT the obligatory merc as someone had the nerve to call him!

No, MacCready had BACKSTORY. Backstory that tied into Fallout 3. Yes, yes, he did. His backstory also had some similarities with poor Olivia. Most importantly? He liked when locks were picked and  Nuka Quantums were stolen from people who clearly did not need them the way I did!  As they traveled, they grew closer. Eventually the whole of his story was learned and, soon after, they were smitten with each other. 

At one point, when checking up on the relationship he said (paraphrasing) "I'm happy to spend the rest of my life walking this earth with you." The man is swoonworthy! And looks damn fine in his militia hat. He mentioned once he wanted one. So, I procured one for him. He also jokes about not messing with Olivia when she's in power armor. A secure man. SWOON!

So, yea, now they roam the Commonwealth kicking ass and taking names. And stealing NQs and sometimes plates. He doesn't think it's worth the time stealing junk, but junk is needed in the settlement. He deals with the eccentricities of his one time employer. 

In my head I am writing out their lives together. Because, well, I always want a happy ending and these two crazy kids deserve one! After all, he got out of politics and she was a Popsicle once. If anyone deserves happiness it's these two. 

 

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Kickstarter, FanLit, Nano

What a month so far.*

I'm waist deep in this year's Nano project. A western, fantasy, romance adventure! Widowed Witch of the West features an Irish witch recently widowed from her husband who is...well, that's a secret. There's also a US Marshal who is much too attractive. Oh, and lots of dastardly villains!

A new book store (I know, right!) is looking to get funding on Kickstarter. Check out  The Ripped Bodice on Kickstarter in the next 48 hours and help them get their final 4k to open an all romance bookstore in Los Angeles. I know, alas for the rest of us, but they promise a webstore as well! You can even jump in at a generous 5k and name your own water closet. Come on, that's awesome. 

Five amazing authors and one incredibly original story! That's right, the Avon FanLit novella releases next week. Pre-order your free copy here. Or anywhere else you purchase your ebooks. Want to know even more about the authors who crafted this very cool story? Visit my Links page and check out the authors. They're putting up behind-the-scenes posts on their own blogs to tell about their FanLit experience. Follow these talented women NOW and you can say you were fans before they were famous. 

 

*I know. A lot has happened in the world. I'll be keeping my opinions to myself. I discuss current events, politics, and religion with family only. 

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NaNoWriMo

November is here. I've written 2k words on my project, The Widowed Witch of the West. I wanted to get a bigger start, but we spent the day with the kids doing stuff. I want a nice big start because once Fallout 4 comes out I'll be splitting time.

Switching from a short story a day to a full novel is a little trying, but I expect to be back in the swing of things real soon. For now I'm letting the scenes meander a bit. It can be fixed in editing and I may find something else to use in there. Plus, I like this character so I am letting her take control for a bit. The Oracle wants to stretch her wings, haha, and pester Aoife and since they're stuck on a train I may as well let her.

At least, I let her today. Tomorrow I'll rein her in. I want to get to the heist tomorrow. What heist? You can find out once the book is done.

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Story Seven - Virtual Max

We have reached the end of my Nanowrimo prep. Some people might be plotting their project. Me? I write seven stories in seven days. Because, well, I'm sometimes an odd duck. *quack*

This story was a lot of fun. A little background. Over the summer I entered  Avon Romance's FanLit contest. A whole lot of other awesome writers did. Some of whom still talk to me. I know, weird right? Oh, by the way, you can preorder the winning chapters here in an awesome novella and I recommend that you do because A Duke to Remember will be memorable. ;)

So, I was despairing over my final chapter in the contest and beloved husband Shawn said, "You should do X." Which I thought was awesome, but not the sort of thing anyone would expect or be looking for so I filed it away. Now we're here. In my random seven stories week. I pulled this out. Enjoy! 

VIRTUAL MAX

The dress was the finest she could ever recall wearing. Oh, she’d had lovely dresses in the past, but nothing like this. Nothing so clearly designed, from the least stitch to the imported lace edging the short sleeves, to draw a man’s attention. A particular man. A certain man she longed for more than anything.

No one knew that she did not wear the dress for the man who would be announced as her intended at tonight’s ball. They would assume. Her hair had been swept up and secured by a strand of pearls that matched the length around her neck. The style was loose enough to incite whispers that it hinted at being unfurled. For her betrothed, of course.

Let them think what they wished. She had no desire to give herself away. Enough was enough. Tonight, she would take what she wanted. With that in mind, she searched out the remains of the perfume she’d worn all those years ago. There was not a lot left, but he would remember the instant he caught a whiff of it.

She could hear the party downstairs. All of the people her parents had invited were waiting for her to descend. To descend in a dazzling manner and leave their mouths hung open by the pure vision of loveliness she presented. Her fingers brushed away her maid’s hand as she tried to adjust the bodice of her dress. If one more adjustment was made it would ruin the look she envisioned.  

“I believe I am ready.”

Her maid said nothing, but hurried to open the door. Slippered feet made no noise as she made her way to the ballroom. The guests fell quiet and she appreciated their attention. One arm on the rail, she flowed down the stairs and was greeted by the man she wasn’t here for tonight. Even if he was her fiancé.

“You look lovely,” he said as he offered his arm. She took and allowed him lead her across the room to her parents. His murmured appreciations for her appearance were received as her due. Of course she was lovely and of course no one else present could compare. How could they when she was cloaked in the surety of her love for one man? Physical accoutrements mattered little to her, aware as she was of the love one man bore her. Well, two men, but one would have to learn to live with dissatisfaction.

A few yards separated her from her parents when he approached. Her fiancé’s hand on her arm tightened, but she shook it off. He would be angry, disappointed, but he would live. In front of her stood her future. She knew by the flare of his nostrils when he caught her scent. He would know she wore it for him.

“Felicity,” Maxwell said in that low baritone that made her insides go weak.

“Maxwell,” she replied. Her voice gone breathless from the nearness of his body to hers. Too near for propriety’s sake, but she cared not for propriety tonight.

Her fiancé faded into the background where he belonged. He would know he had lost. The greatest prize he might have won had been within his grasp, but she’d chosen another. Her own prize. As Max led her out onto the dance floor a waltz began and she smiled.

“I thought I would have to come find you upstairs.” Max’s voice made her shiver. It made her wish he had come upstairs to find her. As they spun around the floor he tugged her closer. Too close not to be whispered about, but she no longer cared about such things. As a future duchess she could do as she pleased.

“Perhaps I should slip away,” she offered. “And let you come find me. Like when we played hide and seek as children.”

Their steps stuttered as they were both caught up in the idea of such activities, and what they might lead to once they were alone in the dark. His smile grew as he let his gaze slide downward. She knew what he saw and drew in a deep breath to hold his attention.

“Shouldn’t some announcement be made?” he asked. “It would hardly be proper to slip away at your engagement party. To another man.” For a moment, surely she imagined it, he sounded upset. Even disappointed, but that couldn’t be right. Since he returned he’d been amenable to all her ideas. Everything he’d done had been for her.

“If we make an announcement, we’ll never be able to slip away.” She drew her lips together in a pout as her lashes fluttered.

Max grinned as the music stopped. He swept her into his arms and brought his mouth to hers in a kiss that left her clinging to his broad shoulders.

“Never underestimate me, my dear,” he said once he released her from the heat building up between them. “Come, let us make our announcement and accept our congratulations. Later, I shall show you how a duke and his duchess takes their leave.”

***

Elizabeth felt weird as she watched Felicity’s program finish up. The worst part of the job was the end. The client was somewhere between fantasy and reality and often, more often than not, awoke disoriented and annoyed at being brought back. Felicity was an especially trying case and she worried over the talk they must have once the sensors and tubes finished disconnecting from her body. A glass of water sat on the table next to Felicity’s chair and Elizabeth watched her empty it before speaking.

“That was amazing. So much better than the other time.”

Elizabeth smiled, hopeful this would be easier than she’d anticipated.

“Can I do it again?”

“We need to talk first. Please, come sit at the table.” Felicity took her time, stretching and adjusting her clothes and hair. Elizabeth did not roll her eyes as the cameras in the room would record it and she would be reprimanded. She sat in her usual chair and pulled up Felicity’s account on her tablet.

“What was different? I’d swear the duke character was real.”

“Excellent,” Elizabeth said. “We’ve been experimenting with a new interface. One that can merge two experiences into one.”

“Wait,” Felicity said before Elizabeth could explain further. “You mean there was someone else there? Oh, fuck no. The duke, my Maxwell? He was some…lab rat? How dare you!”

Felicity surged to her feet. Elizabeth’s hand hovered over the security icon on her screen, but Fee made no move towards her.

“If I may remind you of the contract you signed,” Elizabeth told her calmly. “In it, you agreed to experimental sessions. In return, we allow you three free sessions a month. We’ve broken no laws, Fee.”

“I cannot believe this! Maxwell. My Max. He wasn’t mine at all. Who did it? Oh, holies. It wasn’t you was it? That’s…ewww. That’s disgusting.”

Elizabeth tried not to take offense. It wasn’t as if she were able to portray a masculine image well. She also couldn’t distance herself from what she knew of the person. Fee was terrible. She never would have been able to portray any affection. Being called disgusting still hurt.

“That had better not happen again.”

Worked up to a full tirade, Felicity was silenced by the door sliding open. Elizabeth glanced away from the man entering.

“Oh, gross. Was this him? This - ”

“That is enough, Felicity!” Now Elizabeth pushed the security icon on her tablet. Once the two men in grey suits slid in past Max she turned her attention back to the client. “Please escort Ms Stratford out of the building. She is on a 30 day suspension and will require three mandatory psych sessions before being allowed to return.”

Felicity shrieked, but before she could do anything the security men were on either side of her. When one touched her she shook off his hand and stalked out. Max had stood, quiet, through the whole thing.

“Max?” Elizabeth asked once they were alone. “Are you ok?”

Poor Max. He was the best programmer they had here. He worked too hard and rarely socialized. Elizabeth knew he’d formed a crush on Fee. Which was why she’d tried to discourage him from this experiment, but he’d pulled rank. Kindly, but still, she knew when a person pulled rank.

“I’m fine, Elizabeth.”

He was lying. Elizabeth had the job she did because she was good at reading people. His shoulders had a droop not normally evident and he made sure not to meet her eyes.

“Do you want to talk?”

“No, I should go make notes. Will you send me the interview?”

“Are you sure?” Elizabeth forced her feet to stay. Well, if Max was silly for crushing on an idiot client like Felicity what did that make her? A fool, surely, for working with Max for three years and never asking him out.

“Send me the interview,” Max repeated. Once she’d nodded he left.

Elizabeth left the room and went back to her small office. Felicity’s case file needed updating and she would need to find a replacement for her in the beta program. Once her suspension was up she would be allowed back to the business, but she was out of the beta program. Thankfully, she could couch the ban in words corporate would accept. Only she needed to know the ban was because of what Fee had done to Max.

***

Maxwell was thankful he had his own office. What had he been thinking? His fingers typed his report, but his brain berated him.

What had he been thinking? He’d already asked himself that.

“What was I thinking?” he asked his equipment. The words echoed in his lab and again he thought of decorating it. The last programmer in here had left snarky inspiration posters hanging and Max hadn’t bothered removing them. They were amusing.

He should put the whole incident out of his mind, he thought.  He still believed the programming was sound. The algorithms to link people might need work. Although, likely it would be best to make sure no one could meet the person they were paired with in the illusion. Max typed his report on autopilot and considered whom to recruit to help with the softer bits of the program. So many of the psychs they hired were annoying. No brains. All empathic intelligence and too flighty to help with code.

“Elizabeth.” He whispered her name before he cursed because his fingers had typed the wrong thing. He liked Elizabeth. They were friends, or so Max thought. Only, lately he’d been more aware of her than normal. She’d cut her hair and he’d noticed the way the shorter curls framed her face. Last week she’d changed her eye color and all day he’d stared at the sky out his window and wondered why it was such a pale blue in comparison to Elizabeth’s eyes.

He shook his head. Part of why he’d gotten involved with Felicity’s illusions was to try to put Liz, she’d said to call her Liz once, from his mind. The experiment had been a failure. As was this report. He deleted it and put thoughts of all women from his mind.

A knock at his door interrupted him as he put together a list of potential partners for this job. “What?” he mumbled as he hit the button to open the door.

Had he conjured her? Liz stood in the hallway, street clothes on, and he found himself struck dumb. Short skirt, his brain screamed. Bare legs. Oh, dear. Was that cleavage? Max stared. He cursed himself for an idiot. Then he stood, and then he instantly thought better of it and sat.

“Max?” She stood in the doorway. “I’m sorry. I’m interrupting.”

“No,” Max said and stood again, body under control. “No, please. Come in. I was going to send you a message.”

“Oh?” she asked. and were her cheeks darkening? Heels clicked as she stepped into his office and the door slid closed behind her. “I wanted to be sure you were ok. After, you know, Felicity and all.”

“What? Oh, yes. Being called gross.”

“She called me disgusting,” Liz offered.

“You’re not.”

“I know,” Liz said with a smile. “And you’re not gross.”

“Are you sure?” Max teased. He was on his feet still so they moved, drew him around his desk and closer to her. Liz didn’t speak as he stepped closer. “Is that the only reason you came by?” he asked.

Elizabeth shook her head.

“Why else?"

"Felicity is a bitch and I like you. I don’t want you hurt by someone like that.” Her head tilted and she took his hand in hers. “Or anyone. Am I out of line, Maxwell?”

With corporate policy. She could be in trouble for initiating non-platonic contact, if he wanted her to be in trouble.

“Not if you have dinner with me.”

Now they were even. He could be in trouble for coercing her to fraternize outside of the office.

“Well, I don’t want to be in trouble,” Elizabeth said. Her eyes were still the same shade of blue that put the sky to shame. “Tonight?”

“Why wait?” Maxwell asked. Then, despite all the corporate training screaming at him to stop, he kissed her.


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Story Six - Bereavement

Day Six is courtesy of the beloved husband. It is also short. Shorter than yesterday even. Yesterday was super short for me! Still, I like this and a bit of creepy right before Halloween is good. 

Tomorrow's idea is also originally based off hubby's suggestion. It is not creepy. 

 

Bereavement

The last piece was always the hardest. Chris would string the process along, only in part to avoid arousing suspicion. The small black box tucked under his arm was all that remained of his beloved Annie. He stroked the top and thought of the hours of fun he’d had with the delicate, pale hands inside. How he’d treasured the time he'd spent with them. 

Chris did not believe in casual relationships. Anyone that accused him of such dalliances would receive some gentle correction. His beloved Annie, for instance, lasted for weeks. He knew every piece of her as well as his own body. He’d saved her hands for last because he’d enjoyed the feel of them against his cheek each night when he went to bed.  

Crisp autumn air invigorated him. Too long spent inside. Annie had made such a mess and he wanted things properly cleaned when he found his new pet. Now, with the crunch of leaves underfoot and the soft scent of decay in his nostrils, he could put the drudgery behind him. The gate had been oiled recently so when he pushed it open to enter the tiny, public pet cemetery it hardly made a sound. This was good. A place of reverence shouldn’t be marred by jarring metal cries.  

He enjoyed the quiet sobs of those who came here to bury their beloved pets. His tears filled his body, but he never allowed them to fall. Disgraceful, for a man of his stature to cry in public. Not that Chris didn’t weep over the loss of his pets - he certainly did. They were as dear to him as his own sister. His green eyes drifted towards the back of the cemetery. His beloved Kirsten. Sometimes he still knelt to visit with her. The same way she would kneel beside him every night as they said their prayers together. 

His little spade was tucked into a backpack and he pulled it out before he knelt in the spot he’d reserved for little Annie. Petite Annie. The dirt was crusted with a delicate covering of ice. Not so cold yet he couldn’t still dig, though. Soon the kind hearted people who managed the cemetery would begin calling him to assist with the digging. Then he'd join a small group of volunteers that would do the hard work in the winter, pre-digging holes for those not strong enough to do it themselves. Chris liked the work. He liked knowing he saved the best spots for his pets.  

“Excuse me?”  

His spade froze in midair at the sound of the voice. Chris looked up into a pair of beautiful eyes. Brown and warm exactly like his Annie's. His lips tilted up, forming the hesitant, tenuous sort of smile one offered in a place like this. How beautiful she looked with her golden hair.  

“Yes?”  

“I’m so sorry to bother you. I can’t find my shovel. Do you think I might borrow yours when you’re done?” She had an accent. A curious one he couldn’t quite place, but he thought maybe back East.  

“Of course. I was done. If you need help I would be happy to assist.” Chris stood and held out the spade. Delicate Annie lay at his feet and he resisted the urge to kick her into the hole. What use mourning when there were new possibilities on the horizon?  

“Oh, thank you. My husband- Well, he was called out of town unexpectedly. He was supposed to do this.” Her eyes were wet and he reached into his jacket to pull out a handkerchief. She smiled as she took it. “I like this. A handkerchief. Thank you.” 

Chris knelt back down without speaking. Too much talk could scare off a new pet. So, as much as he wanted to bury Annie and be done with her, he took his time. The box was placed precisely in the small hole. He bowed his head and said his final prayers for Annie. Sweet Annie. She’d been skittish in the beginning too, but then she’d settled down. So sweet when he was done with her. An urge to peek inside the box welled up inside him, but he buried it quickly with a few quick spades full of dirt. He tamped the dirt down over the box with his hands and Annie was gone.   

The past buried, he stood and brushed the dirt from his hands and knees. He glanced around to see if brown eyed woman was still there. She was, struggling with the dirt. Chris was quiet because he knew to be quiet. The frost dusted ground crunched in the silence of the morning. Best to make some noise.  

“Do you need help?” 

She looked up from the ground and he watched her dab at her eyes again with his handkerchief. Wasn’t she perfect? A shiny blonde coat of hair just like his Annie. Her eyes, too, just like Annie’s. Annie, who’d been delicate and perfect like his Kirsten. All of his pets had to be like Kirsten. His perfect sister. His first pet. Chris stepped back from her. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.” 

“No! I mean, it’s not. An intrusion. I’ve had Logan since high school. We went through college together. And, as I said, my husband…well, he was going to do this. Please, help would be nice.” 

Chris knelt on the ground, not too close, and held out his hand. She wore gloves, but he felt the firmness of her fingers as she gave him the little spade. Under his coat he shivered at the nearness of her. How he longed to take her home, but he knew better. He couldn’t truss up a wild animal and carry her home. She had to be trained to trust and then she would follow him home. And she would. His body sang with the knowledge that perfect Annie had bestowed a final gift on him. She had led him to her replacement. 

“I’m Chris,” he offered as he dug. 

“Nice to meet you, Chris. I’m Mia.”

 


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Story Five - The Scarlet Ibis

Here's a little snippet of a story born from an idea for a superhero book I had a long time ago. I'm not sure the superhero book will ever get written, but I like this story. It's much shorter than the others. It's also a little rougher because I didn't get the chance to pass it off to my beloved alpha reader who is smart and amazing and wonderful. Be jealous! I have the best husband. ;) He's also an excellent writer in his own right. 

The Scarlet Ibis

 

Are you really leaving me a voicemail? I’m not going to check this. No one leaves voicemail. Hang up. Text me. Welcome to the new century.

“Very funny, Tabs. If you’d answer my texts I wouldn’t be forced to resort to anachronisms. Use your phone to look that word up. Would you please cut this shit out and come by?”

TABS WHERE R U?

TABS THIS IS GETTING OLD.

HOLY SHIT, TABS! R U OK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

ONE

I was impressed my phone had survived the incident. That’s what the media called it. Only, you know, with caps. The Incident. (Remember to link to Incident Wiki here. Too tired to fuck with right now.) Kind of wish my phone hadn’t survived. I could pretend not to remember phone numbers and not have to talk to people who hadn’t wanted to talk to me in months or years. (Thinking of you here, Mom, if you read this.)

Three months of military hospitals and weird tests and hourly reminders not to talk to anyone about what had occurred had totally gotten old. Doctor Taft gave me this POS laptop to send emails on. Only, I didn’t have full net access. No sending things or posting things without them being vetted. I can read all I want. I can watch some stuff. Nothing about The Incident.

Fuck it. It wasn’t a damned incident like a dam breaking or train wreck. No, it had been an attack by this group of weird people in costumes. COSTUMES! Halloween costumes of some weird throwback group from a comic or anime or something. I don’t know. I know it ruined Homecoming. Normally I wouldn’t give a damn, but I’d lined up a date. And turned 21. Most importantly, my date had made it clear she was happy to help with the whole virginity issue I had. (Should I delete this? Dunno. Whatever. No getting laid now. Not with…)

“Miss Puckett?”

I slammed the lid down on the laptop. Not like I had real privacy, but I guess the illusion made me feel better.

“What?”

“The weathers cooperating. Did you still want to walk in the park?”

Someone had finally decided it would be ok to let me get out of the room. There may have been some coercion involved. What else could I do? I’d been stuck inside for most of the last three months. I shoved away the nurse’s help to get out of bed and glowered as she pushed the wheelchair forward.

“There are rules, Miss Puckett.”

“So many fucking rules. Any word on when my government will stop holding me illegally and let me go home?” The nurse didn’t speak as she draped a blanket over my lap. “So many fucking constitutional violations.” No one seemed to care.

She wheeled me down grey corridors to a grey and white world. The only color I missed out here was the blue sky. Instead I saw a lovely shade of grey and the white clouds bunching up on it really popped.

“Do you think it will start snowing?” I asked, doing my best to sound calm. Calm and bored. The nurse crouched down and adjusted my blanket again. I slapped her hand away and in that instant of contact I felt two things. The first was a small scrap of paper pressed into my palm. The second was a quick sting. My hand jerked back and she winked at me before standing.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

She left me there and I watched the sky. Did I want to see what she’d done? Did I want to read the note? Eventually I looked down at the note in my hand and nearly fell from my stupid wheelchair. Red ink. Red ink and green paper and I saw color for the first time in three months.

My hand curved protectively around the paper. No one had better bother me now. I thought, maybe, my eyes were better, but when I dared look away from the arresting sight of color I saw the grey world all around me once more.

12:05 AM. We know what you can do. Come to the back gate. I’ll be waiting.

“Miss Puckett? Is everything ok?”

No, everything wasn’t fucking ok. My hands shook as I tucked them under the blanket. I couldn’t stop my tears. Color. Even if only on a single scrap of paper. My entire world had been the same room, the same greyscale for so long I couldn’t handle it. The nurse wheeled me back inside as my body shook with suppressed sobs.

“You have to get ahold of yourself, Miss Puckett. I can’t keep the doctors from noticing. Can you?”

As if I were not the queen of cool? I used the blanket to wipe my eyes. I know they were still red, but I could blame that on the cold. In the room, the nurse helped me to bed and took the note from my hand. My fingers had still gripped it protectively, but she pried them loose. Once in bed, she kissed my forehead. Weird. Well, human contact was a nice thing I supposed.

TWO

By ten I could barely wait. My foot twitched under the heavy blankets and the wires hooking me to machines swayed in the air. I saw the nurse again twice. Both times when I should have been given the medicine to settle me down. She did it under the watchful eye of an armed guard, but I could feel she gave me something different.

I pretended sleep for every bed check. The rhythm of the floor was well known to me by now. I could tell by the sound of their feet who was on duty. So, I knew when midnight came. Final bed check until the next dose of medicine at two. I heard the duty nurse tell someone else, the guard, that I appeared restless. My limbs twitched, I couldn’t stop them.

At first, I feared she’d decide to give me a sedative. Not holding my breath became a problem and would she decide my forced breathing was fake? I didn’t relax until she left. I opened one eye and peered at the clock on the wall.

12:03. How long would it take to reach the back gate? Did I even know where to go to get to the gate? Did I have to follow the fence? Fuck.

“Fuck it,” I whispered to the cameras.

The IV, wires, electrodes collapsed as my body stopped being attached to them. I struggled to separate from the bed as the alarms went off. Cautious steps took me to the window and I heard more alarms going off. The wall tickled as I went through it. Should I try to get to the ground? Would anyone see me?

Lowering myself would take time so I walked through the air. It felt like walking along the bottom of a lake. Pushing through something, softness underfoot, a little disorienting. From this height, at least, I could see the gate. Nighttime was the same color grey as the day, a few shades darker, I supposed. Light flashed on the road near the unused back gate. I sank down to the ground, letting the slight tug of the Earth pull me home.

“Impressive, Miss Puckett.”

The nurse. She wasn’t dressed in scrubs this time. Her costume, under a long coat, reminded me of the ridiculous outfits worn by those at The Incident. My recognition must have been caught even without my having a solid body.

“Miss Puckett, I assure you, we don’t want to hurt you. We only want you to come hear us out.” She glanced over my shoulder. The alarms were as loud as they’d been all along, but it seemed they held a new urgency to their tone. “If you’d rather continue to be a prisoner then return to the hospital.”

“You made me like this,” I hissed.

“I wasn’t there. Miss Puckett. Natalie, just because Emperor Duncan takes care-“

“Halt!”

“Ah, fuck. Natalie, either come with me and learn both sides or go back.”

“You let me see color.” I looked over my shoulder. Movement in the dark couldn’t be hidden from me.

“We can do more than that, Natalie.”

“I don’t want to go back to being some hospital experiment.”

“I give you my word, Natalie. You’ll be free to go whenever you want.”

“What’s your word worth?”

More footsteps in the dark. I could hear two trucks as well.

“Natalie, I’m the Scarlet Ibis and I always keep my word.”

Oh, motherdamnedfucker. The Scarlet Ibis was enemy number one. Everyone knew of her and that she wanted to bring down the Emperor. Her bounty was massive. I could live however I wanted if I turned her in.

“No, you could spend the rest of your life here. Studied until they learned what they could and dissected once they were done.” And, apparently the rumors about her being a mind reader were true. “Yes or no, Natalie?”

Maybe so long trapped in a hospital bed made me weak. Tricked. But…there she stood. So much color on her and I wanted to see more than grey. She knew when I made my decision. I watched her throw off the coat she wore and wanted to weep at the assault on my eyes. Scarlet feathers ran down her head to her back where wings spread.

I threw myself into the sky after her.

 


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