There has not been a story posted in 12 days. I have 5 started, and unfinished, sitting in the cloud. They are mocking me and I hate them for that. 

Why is that? 

Well, November sucked. My husband's uncle died suddenly, he'd been ill, but we had no idea things were as bad as they were. The drama from that was intense and by the time we made it through I was exhausted.

By the time we began to recover, and right before Thanksgiving, we lost our beloved German Shepherd mix, Emma P Dog. We'd lived with her for 10 years and she was our rock through a LOT of bad times. It is still hard to remember she is no longer around. She was a helpful, wonderful dog to the end. 

We have gotten a new dog. We were intent on waiting, but our other pooch, Ellie Belly, and the boys, had a hard time. So, less than two weeks after we lost our beloved Emma, we acquired our new Kona Kona Dog. Well, Kona, but all our dogs have multiple names. She's a full blood German Shepherd and we drove a couple of hours to a rescue group to adopt her. Adopt, don't shop! 

All of this leads me to where I am now. 

I made myself finish NaNoWriMo. Like, forced myself to write anything. So, I thought I was ready to dive back into a big project and I am not. I WILL be finishing my alphabet project, but it will not be in December. Instead, as I research two new projects I am going to work on in 2018, I will push forward.

This is not a new problem, fyi, I am aware I tend to push forward when not ready. I've always tried not cause trouble, draw attention, bother people with my problems. Because, obviously, my problems do not need as much attention as others. Siiiiiigh. My husband is so super supportive with me, but I do still defer to his emotional state. I am working on it. He is helping as he can, but so much is up to me.

So, here I am, starting, to acknowledge I need this break. And, I know I will feel guilty about it and think I am failing, but I will do my best to answer that voice with the truth. And, that is, I deserve this break as much as anyone else. 

I will see you in 2018! Enjoy yourself, enjoy your time with your family and friends, and be good to yourself. I'm going to try.